Rebuilding a System That Works for Families. Not Against Them!

Trigger Warning: - This write-up is made to hit hard. It is written with the sole purpose of outing the truth and pushing for a fairer system, one where two loving parents are not segregated into a parent and a visitor. It includes discussion of loss, emotional harm, and systemic failure. I offer no apologies.

At Putting Families First, our mission is simple: To reform the family justice system, promote shared parenting, and create a culture where children grow up with the love and support of both parents, not one at the expense of the other.

We believe the key to achieving this lies in introducing a Families Act, a modern piece of legislation designed to work alongside the Children Act 1989, expanding its focus from protecting children in isolation to supporting the families they depend on.

This alone is how we begin to rebuild a system that truly works, for everyone.

Why Change Is Needed

The Children Act 1989 was a landmark law for its time. It has done great things, but it has also failed countless children, parents, and grandparents. Over thirty years later, the world has changed. Families have changed. Society has changed. The law has not.

Today, family life looks very different.

More parents share care. Many families live across two homes. Mental health struggles, financial pressures, and relationship breakdowns are rising. And yet, the family court system, built on conflict, continues to tear families apart instead of helping them rebuild.

Too often, that destruction ends in tragedy.

Parents are pushed past breaking point, their pleas for fairness ignored until it is too late.

The Human Cost of a Broken System

Behind every statistic lies a family, a parent pushed beyond endurance, a child caught in the middle, a grandparent watching helplessly from the sidelines. 

We hear stories every week that make your blood boil: Parents denied contact with their children for years, not because of harm, but because the system favoured delay, bureaucracy, and litigation. Families bankrupted by legal fees, forced to choose between feeding their children and fighting for their rights. Fathers and mothers silenced, shamed, and isolated, while their children are stripped of the love they deserve. Grandparents watching helplessly as bonds with grandchildren are systematically destroyed.

These are not “accidents” or “rare cases.” They are the daily, predictable outcomes of a system that rewards conflict and punishes care.

One father told us: “I went to court to see my own child and left with nothing, just a sense that the law did not care about me, or her, or our family.”

Another mother said: “I thought the system existed to protect children. Instead, it protected processes, forms, and delays, while my children suffered.”

And the truth we cannot ignore, illustrated by cases like Gavin Briggs, a devoted father and former Royal Navy veteran, is that the emotional toll is devastating. Mental health collapses. Families fracture. Parents lose hope. Too many lives are quietly destroyed because a broken system refuses to change.

This is why Putting Families First exists. Because families are not a game, children are not bargaining chips, and parents are not disposable. We are not just asking for change. We are demanding it.

The Families Act: Our Vision for Reform

The Families Act would complement the Children Act by shifting focus from crisis management to family preservation, support, and equality. Our proposed framework would include:

• Equal Parenting at the Core - Recognising both parents as vital to a child’s upbringing and ensuring meaningful relationships with both, except where there is proven risk of harm. We advocate for 50 50 shared care as the legal starting point, ensuring equality and stability for children, unless safeguarding concerns are present.
• Family Centred Policy Across Government - Every government department, from education and housing to justice and health, must consider the family impact of its decisions. Policies should strengthen families, not separate them.
• Reforming the Family Court System - Replace conflict with cooperation. The Families Act would promote mediation, early intervention, and shared care agreements as the default approach, reducing the emotional and financial cost of drawn out court battles.
• Accessible Family Support Services - Prioritise prevention over punishment. Families should be offered practical help, counselling, and guidance before relationships reach crisis point, not only after.
• Community and Extended Family Involvement - It takes more than two people to raise a child.
  The Families Act would ensure grandparents, step parents, and extended family members are given fair consideration in decisions affecting a child’s care and wellbeing.
• Making Parental Alienation a Criminal Offence - Parental alienation is emotional abuse, and it must be treated as such.
  The Families Act would criminalise deliberate alienation, holding accountable those who intentionally obstruct or damage a child’s relationship with the other parent. It is time the UK recognised alienation for what it is, a form of coercive control and emotional harm.
• Reforming the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) - The current CMS model punishes shared care parents who do not meet the “overnight stay” threshold. We propose a fair system based on time spent and shared responsibilities, ensuring contributions reflect real involvement, not arbitrary rules.

A Campaign for Change

The call for a Families Act is part of a national movement. Through Putting Families First, we are building a coalition of parents, professionals, and policymakers who know that a fair, family focused system benefits everyone, children, parents, and society. We work to:

• Raise awareness of the harm caused by family court conflict and inequality.
• Promote reforms that encourage shared responsibility and early intervention.
• Campaign for legislative change, ensuring the Families Act becomes the foundation for a new era of family justice.

This is not about politics. It is about parents, families, and children. It is about building a system that strengthens families instead of breaking them apart.

Putting Families First Means Putting Children First

• Every child deserves the love, guidance, and presence of both parents.
• Every parent deserves to be treated fairly, supported, and heard, not sidelined or dismissed.
• Every family deserves a system that helps them heal and grow, not one that fuels division and despair.

The Families Act would make this possible. It is time to modernise family law, strengthen support, and truly put families first.